A Regular Girl’s Notes on Life

The other day I went swimming with my husband. Well he went swimming and I went paddling. You see I much prefer to hang out on the side of the pool where my feet just about touch the bottom and I paddle along nicely there, however according to David, my husband, that is not swimming.
“Come on out into the deep end” He called, determined to share with me the joy of doing laps. I shook my head. He came out to meet me and tried to show me some basic moves. “Just relax and let go” I stared at him blankly…let go into what, didn’t he understand the panic that rose up inside of me, the new sensation of being completely underwater was so uncomfortable that I kept jumping up gasping for air? Clearly not, because he kept pushing me to come out of my comfort zone, to go deep, so to speak.
I decided to take swimming lessons. So eventually I will really learn how to swim properly hopefully.
However I was thinking about how that experience is like a reflection for life. So many of us paddle along thinking that we are really living; we deal in the superficial, focusing on the aspects of life that keep us from drowning, (or so we think) a big house to live in, a fancy car to drive, a marriage that looks good to onlookers, designer clothes to rock and so on.
When something doesn’t feel right we address it on the surface. We feel inadequate because we don’t have what others in our social circle have, so we hustle to make it, in order to keep up with the Jones. We feel a little unsure with our looks, so we weave, paint and glue on, false pieces to embellish our sense of identity. We starve ourselves if necessary not to be healthy but to fit into a contrived version of beauty.
We only focus on what is on the surface. And I don’t blame anyone, going deep, going underwater is scary. You feel as if your lungs are going to explode and that life as you know it will no longer continue because you might drown.
Here’s the thing I am finding.
No matter how much you are paddling and how cool you look in your bathing suit with your hair not really getting wet, David was right, you are not swimming. No matter how comfortable your life appears and how glamorous you may be, if your life serves no purpose, then you are not living. Simply existing. If I can be morbid, you are a walking corpse, albeit a fabulously dressed one. Read more …

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Sometimes, I have people send me email asking me for my advice on a particular topic. I usually respond via email but I would like to start a new trend here at life, love and faith and post the question with the identities protected and my advice, so you guys can show and share love to each person as well.

I recently got a note from a young woman that made me so sad. I could read her pain through the words. She told me that she had been involved with a man for 4 years and that they had a child together. This man sang in the choir at church and acted like a christian. She noted that he had a problem committing and then she said he had been cheating on her and had other women. He had even admitted to it. Then she asked me what she should do?

This was when I sighed.

I know to many of you this might look simple and straightforward. Some of you might shout “Ode!” and counsel her to get out of the relationship and shake your heads at how silly women can be.
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’smile’ from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

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